My 1st video!

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Camping on the Suiattle River Thanksgiving 2009

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Make a wish…

make a wish

Another chapter of my so-called life…

In July of 2005 my wife of 17 years said she didn’t want to do “this” anymore, meaning our life together, and moved out. We own our home on Camano Island (with the bank) and have two kids, a girl 16 at the time and a boy 14. The kids and I stayed home. In August of 2005 my doctor said I was severely depressed and an alcoholic, which I though impossible because I felt fine, had a great job, never got DUI or been in jail or even a bar fight (no I’m not I wuss). I October of 2005 The wife moved back in, although we were in separate rooms and she began living the life she always wanted, I guess. She was rarely home and did not participate in family functions any more. In November of 2005 I began have alcoholic blackouts and suicidal thoughts, I even called suicide prevention twice. In December of 2005 I went to my favorite bar at 9:30 in the morning having decided the kids and the rest of the world would be better of without me. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) they weren’t serving drinks at 9:30 am as there was the regular Sunday Morning Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I suppose I would have just spun around and headed for he next bar but I was too embarrassed to stand up and leave. Somehow, I heard part of what they were saying and decided to “check it out”. I made no major changes in my life, as was suggested, for one year. I didn’t drink alcohol either. I went to A LOT of meeting and began to realize I had been insane. After all, what normal person sits down with a half case of Dr. Pepper with the intention or drinking all they can. Well that’s how I drank beer. I filed for divorce in December of 2006. The wife was on boyfriend #3. I remained celibate. I had both the kids and myself in counseling the entire time. The wife refused to go. In October 2007 I got the backbone to ask for a court date and the judge didn’t really care what I had to say and gave the kids and the house to the wife. The wife asked for a Guardian Ad-Litum (sp?) to be appointed to determine what the “best interests” of the children would be. I paid the $1500 for her retaining fee and signed the appointment papers. I underwent a complete drug and alcohol evaluation. ($300) I waited. I got a new job. I had spinal fusion surgery in November 2007. I got another rnew job in Eastern Washington in May 2008. My daughter failed her Junior year of High School. She had been a straight A student. My son passed into junior high with good grades. My daughter moved in with me in August of 2008. She managed to graduate on time with the help of an alternative school. She then became pregnant. I got laid off in February of 2009 and sent her to live with her mom in the “family home”. I moved into a travel trailer. The guardian as-lightum (sp) has never submitted her report to the court as the wife never signed the papers appointing her. She won’t say why. She never did anything the guardian ad lightum said to do, I.E.: drug an aclohol evaluation, state trooper background check, name of friends an relatives., all the stuff I DID do. SO…I’m going to take her and boyfriend #6 to court and ask for the house and my kids. Including my newborn grand-daugther. It will have been 4 years on December 18 since I had a drink. The house is no longer fit for human habitation (in my opinion~ animal urine stained carpets~black, flee infestation~ piles of garbage in and around the house~ MANY bags of empty beer cans and bottles). Question: Have I waited to long? Or not long enough? And for what was I waiting? Never mine, it felt good just to get it all out. Peace. Robin p.s. my cat is missing…L…and yes, I’m still celibate as I haven’t figured out how to STOP loving someone, that doesn’t mean I LIKE her, but I can’t help but love her.

Smedley Butler on Interventionism

 

– Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Major General Smedley Butler, USMC.

War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses.

I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else. If a nation comes over here to fight, then we’ll fight. The trouble with America is that when the dollar only earns 6 percent over here, then it gets restless and goes overseas to get 100 percent. Then the flag follows the dollar and the soldiers follow the flag.

I wouldn’t go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.

There isn’t a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is blind to. It has its “finger men” to point out enemies, its “muscle men” to destroy enemies, its “brain men” to plan war preparations, and a “Big Boss” Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism.

It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison. Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four months in active military service as a member of this country’s most agile military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.

I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military service.

I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912 (where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.

During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.

Smedley Butler on Interventionism
– Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Major General Smedley Butler, USMC.War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses.I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else. If a nation comes over here to fight, then we’ll fight. The trouble with America is that when the dollar only earns 6 percent over here, then it gets restless and goes overseas to get 100 percent. Then the flag follows the dollar and the soldiers follow the flag.I wouldn’t go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.There isn’t a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is blind to. It has its “finger men” to point out enemies, its “muscle men” to destroy enemies, its “brain men” to plan war preparations, and a “Big Boss” Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism.It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison. Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four months in active military service as a member of this country’s most agile military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military service.I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912 (where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.

 

Thought for the day…

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

-Rudyard Kipling

Thought for the day…

Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation… Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation. – Jean Arp

Thought for the day…

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. But it’s the same world. How come?” Dr. Wayne Dyer